i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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