thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
