i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
