I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
