he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
