dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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