Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
