I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
