She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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