honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
