So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
