I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
