And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
