you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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