My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
