So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
