Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
