Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize