His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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