All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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