Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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