I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Randomize
