Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

in pain and im wearing pink underwear

(908): View more from New Jersey

so?

(609): View more from New Jersey

i dont own pink underwear

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(314): View more from Missouri

Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.

Fav 37 4850 1066
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(440): View more from Ohio

obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night

Fav 100 3393 1339
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(904): View more from Florida

the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants

Fav 7 6229 968
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(970): View more from Colorado

The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.

(352): View more from Florida

I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.

Fav 28 7719 1162
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Too many margaritas?

Fav 9 4415 1355
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent

Fav 5 1989 757
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(308): View more from Nebraska

The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad

Fav 4 482 349
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(804): View more from Virginia

New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.

Fav 0 13 62
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