we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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