your room smells of hookers.
And success
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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