I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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