meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
