I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
