You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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