i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
