My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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