I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
