so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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