ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize