Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
