is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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