My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
