Farmville is her only friend.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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