So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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