remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
