i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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