I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
