Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
