Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize
