i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
