i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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