I only kidnapped one of them. chill
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
