bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
True strength comes from lack of pants
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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