I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
