if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
