Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
