What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
