gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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