Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
