Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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