some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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