i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
3pm strippers are depressing
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
