so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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